We'll do whatever just to stay alive
by fairytail endings
Summary: Jerrica and Damien Porter make their way from Tennessee only to find Atlanta overrun. With no other choice but to turn back, they stumble across the quarry and are quickly joined by other survivors. [Original Characters, slightly AU.]
1. Chapter One - Roadtrip

_"There's a rhythm in rush these days, where the lights don't move and the colors don't fade." _When I thought about it, Georgia wasn't that much different from Tennessee. Same sky, same air. No different from home. Except that Georgia wasn't home. It hadn't been for almost eight years now. _"Leaves you empty with nothing but dreams, in a world gone shallow - in a world gone lean."_

We were speeding down the highway, way over the legal limit, but this didn't seem to bother my brother, Damien. He drove in absolute silence, not even bothering to look at me to make sure I was alright. _"Sometimes there's things a man cannot know, gears won't turn and the leaves won't grow."_ I wasn't.

My boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, Roger, had been a family friend, just two years older than my brother. When Damien shipped out for his first round, I quit school and moved to Tennesee, leaving everyone and everything I had behind. Damien had been home twice since I left and I hadn't been able to reach out to him. Roger was a good man, when he was sober - however rare it was. When he drank, he'd beat me and he'd beat me bad. I was too ashamed and too scared to call my family and ask for help, and I had noone in Tennessee except Rog'. In the eight years I spent chained to the house we built together, I missed my fathers death and my mothers suicide. In the eight years I spent chained to _him_, my family disappeared. But not Damien.

I'd called him early in the morning, just as Roger had slipped out to go to work. He'd answered in a formal tone, as he always did. The sound of his voice made me burst out in tears and when he finally realised who had called, he was halfway out the door, demanding I stayed put. He showed up just about when the sun was about to set and he knocked Roger on his ass before pulling me into his arms. After all, I guess I was all the family he had left too.

_"There's no place to run and no gasoline, engine won't turn and the train won't leave. I'll stay with you tonight, hold you close 'til the morning light."_ I glanced over at him and then turned to look out the window, peering at the sky up above. It was starting to turn pink, reminding me of the flowers we had in our backyard when we were kids. I was awakened from my thoughts as Damien hit the breaks, the sudden stop making me bump my already bruised head against the glass I'd previously rested against. He jumped out of the truck and rummaged around for an empty gas can in the back, before filling it and the truck up. _"In the morning, watch a new day rise, we'll do whatever just to stay alive. We'll do whatever just to stay alive."_

The gas station he'd pulled up to seemed eerily empty, but what worried me the most was his constant, stubborn silence. I had alot to say to him. A bunch of things to apologize for. Excuses to make. Now was not the time, however, as the mellow song playing on the radio was interrupted by an emergency broadcast. "_The situation still remains out of our control, we're taking measures to limit the spread, but at this rate it might be best if people started heading for the shelters. Atlanta will be safe, we're controlling the spread. Atlanta wil-"_ Damien returned to the truck and cut the radio off mid-sentance, his ironlike gaze making me stare down at my hands in discomfort. "They've declared a state of emergency, Jer'" He spoke, his raspy voice sending shivers down my spine. "We're under martial law." Damien paused, his knuckles whitening from his firm grip on the steering wheel. "Do you copy?" He asked as we drove away from the station.

I nodded, not finding the words. I guess that was enough.

Damien on the other hand, wasn't finished. "We weren't supposed to get our families, but I needed to make sure." He hesitated, glaring down the road with a frown on his face. "After everythin' with Rog'." I blinked the tears out of my eyes and snorted in response. "He's the least of my worries now." I whispered and wiped the trail of tears away with the sleeve of my hoodie. I put my other hand on his leg, nails digging into the fabric of his pants.

"Dee," I started, biting my lip as he tensed up at my touch. "What's _going on_?"

The sun was barely peeking up over the horizon, lighing up the long road and the silouette of Atlanta ahead of us. I narrowed my eyes as we drew closer, already seeing vast amounts of cars piling up. "You gon' be 'right if I drop ya by the shelter?" Damien asked slowly, now fully coming to a stop at the end of the long queue leading into the city. "Ofcourse, Dee." I murmured and pushed a strand of brown hair back behind my ear. Cars were honking and fighting for space on the now very crowded road. "So, what's happenin'? Some kinda virus?" I asked, unbuckeling the seatbelt in order to make myself more comfortable.

"I ain't no scientist, Jer'. We're under a strict need-to-know basis." I inspected my brother closely, noticing the dark bags under his eyes and the wrinkles on his forehead, making him look much older than his thirty-five years. Carefully, I reached out to him, running my hand over his slightly overgrown buzzcut, returning the slight smile I thought I saw hiding in the corner of his mouth.

"It can't be too bad, Dee."

I couldn't have been more wrong.

* * *

It wasn't until the sun was already high on the sky that things turned really _nasty_. I'd rolled down the window, and by the time the shit hit the fan, I was enjoying the faint breeze rolling over my face. I looked around lazily until my eyes rested on a car two cars ahead of us. Out of nowhere, the people inside of it started screaming and flailing around. One by one, the adults in the car managed to make their way out, the only woman in the group shrieking like a banshee. After them crawled a young boy, whose face made me snap my head so far back I thought I'd break my neck.

I slapped Damien across the arm with the palm of my hand, jolting him out of his slumber. How he'd managed to sleep through the screams was beyond me, but the sudden touch had woken him straight up.

The young child carried a small bundle in his arms, shakily letting the cloth rolling off. Time seemed to stop. A toddler, no more than a couple of months old, was screaming up at the older boy, its tiny fists clenched and moving. My eyes widened in shock as the boy brought his already bloody face down towards the baby and let out a twisted snarl. I covered my mouth with both hands, pressing down hard to swallow the scream resting in my throat. He sank his teeth into the toddler, tearing through flesh, making blood spew out of the tiny body. The crying ceased almost instantly, only to be replaced by the crying of the adults observing the scene. The boy dropped the baby and proceeded to hunch over it like some kind of animal, using his hands to dig deeper into its belly, busting the ribcage and leaving guts sprawled over the dark and hot road.

Damien and I stared in disbelief as other people started screaming from inside their cars up ahead, aswell as behind us. The woman who had escaped the car, rushed forwards, trying to pry the boy away from his afternoon snack, only to have him launch at her and with a low guttural snarl, sink his teeth into her arm.

My brother snapped out of the initial shock and went for his gun, his face darkening as he stepped out of the car, took aim and squeezed the trigger - putting the boy to rest. As the gunshot rang out, heads turned towards us. But the attention didn't last for long. Futher along the road, more bloodcurdeling screams followed, people pouring out - sinking their teeth in whatever they could reach. Damien fired four more shots before he glanced back at my worried and horrified face. Making a decision, he climbed back into his seat and turned the car back on, revving the engine.

"What the _fuck_ is going on?!" I shrieked, eyes still locked on the lifeless corpse of the toddler on the ground infront of us.

"Buckle up, sis. We're goin' for a ride." He yelled over the roar of the engine and crashed his truck into the small car infront of us, pushing it into the next, before backing up and doing the same to the vehicle behind us. Somehow, I managed to buckle my seatbelt just as he crashed into, and forced the truck over, the railing separating us from the oncoming traffic, thankfully, of which there was none.

After spending far too many hours in the truck, waiting for the line to move, we were now driving back the way we'd came, leaving the screaming and rabid people on the road far, far behind us. "Dee! What the _fuck_ was that!" I cried again, pulling on the arm of his t-shirt. "Dee!" I called again. Finally, he snapped.

"I don't _know_ Jerrica! I don't!" He roared back, making me shrink in my seat. "Christ." He breathed, shaking his head. "I don't have any answers okay, just stop. We were told to get ready for something _big_. And what did I do, Jer'? I jumped ship to go get you. _I_ couldn't just leave _you_!" He growled, punching the wheel and making the horn go off.

I covered my face with my hands. "I'm sorry." I whispered from behind my hands, tears rolling down my face again. "I made you! I'm s-"

Damien cut me off, letting out an exasperated sigh. "Shut up. It's gonna be 'aright. I'll fix it." His voice broke at he last part. "I'll fix it." He repeated, taking a sudden turn to a smaller road. I looked up as he pulled over, my eyes puffy and red.

He unbuckled his seatbelt aswell as mine and pulled me into half a hug, kissing the top of my head. We stayed that way until I broke the silence. "Where do we go, Dee? Back to Tennessee?" He hummed in response, releasing me from his awkward brotherly embrace.

"Do we keep going? What about food and water? Do you think we can go to the city soon? Won't the army clear out... whatever that was?" I asked in rapid succession, Damien still sitting in silence. "Dee?" I whispered. No response. I groaned and reclined my seat, staring up at the padded ceiling. A couple of minutes passed before he started the car again, driving further along the road.

"We can't go _too_ far away. If this shit lets up soon, we can't be stranded in the middle of nowhere. We'll find a secluded spot to camp out at and regroup in the morning." He said in a commanding tone. I couldn't help but smile and answer with a snarky: "Whatever you say, Sarge."

"Are you sure this isn't a little bit _too_ close to.. the road?" I muttered as he pulled over a quarry, just shy of the city, near interstate 85. He looked at me like I was an idiot before raising a brow and shaking his head, pocketing the keys to the car. "Water."

* * *

The campsite we'd arrived at was void of people, as far as I could tell, and very dark. A dense forest aswell as cliffs surrounded us, making the site itself feel very snug and safe. "We'll probably get company here." Damien commented as he stepped out of the truck. "It's not a bad spot!" I called out behind him, flailing for a second until my eyes adjusted to the dark. "Dee, hold up, I can't see shit." I muttered and smiled as my flailing hands found his muscular figure. I locked arms with him and blinked at the ground.

"Right, watch my six!" I breathed out, earning a brief chuckle from Damien as we made our way to the lake, arm in arm.


	2. Chapter Two - Atlanta

I put another log on the fire as Damien stuck the freshy caught fish on a pointed stick, holding it over the embers. It'd been almost a week since we'd arrived at the quarry - and much like predicted, we weren't alone. Early in the week, the grumpy 'leader' of the band of misfits had arrived with a woman and her son. He'd pulled a gun on Damien as he rose to greet them, but was expertly disarmed. He'd told us more about Atlanta after that, describing how it looked further into the city and confirmed that all hell had broken loose.

Group after group of survivors joined us in _camp_ and order had set in. We'd distanced us from the flock as soon as the second family dropped in, making it clear to _Shane_ that we'd care for ourselves and not be any trouble. So far, he'd let us do our thing. But that was about to change.

This life was far from the comfort I was used to. If you ignored the whole Roger ordeal, I had electricity, running water and a market around the corner. Damien, on the other hand, was doing fine. I blame his surival training.

"Damien, you got a minute, buddy?" Shane asked as he walked up to our fire, hands stuck in his pockets. Damien grunted in response and handed me the stick, rose to his feet and walked over to Shane, clearly not in the mood for a conversation.

"We're runnin' low on, well, most things. With this many people, we could sure use some more campin' supplies." Shane started in a hushed voice. I rolled my eyes and turned my attention to the fish on the end of the stick. It was the second time today Shane had asked Dee to go on a supply run with him. I could hear how Damiens face fell, his irritation clear as he spoke. "Like I said earlier, _buddy_. Why would I risk my ass out there with noone to watch mine?"

I scowled and turned the stick in my hands, the fish dangerously close to the embers. I let out a small surprised squeek as it touched the embers and sizzled violently. Seconds later, the stick was back in Damiens hands. He looked down at me and shook his head, stifeling a laugh.

"Make me an offer I can't refuse." Dee continued, the fire reflecting in his gray eyes, giving them a mischievous twinkle. Shane folded his arms. "What kind'a offer?" He murmured and pursed his lips, staring down at the pair of us.

"Ya'll need ammo, right? Get me what I need and I'll share." He decided. Damien shrugged and looked at me. I grimaced at him, rubbing the back of my neck - dirt and sweat mixing together in a thin paste. "Throw in one of those fancy huntin' knives, and we got a deal." He responded and smiled towards Shane, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. Shane huffed and walked away in a hurry only to return moments later with the knife. "We leave at the crack of dawn, Glenn and me are comin' with'ya." Damien raised a brow. "You'll get your share if we come back alive." Shane added and smirked at him before returning to his people.

The following morning, Damien slipped out of our tent without waking me. It was, as Shane had put it, the crack of dawn. However, the movement outside made me jerk out of bed. Curious, I stuck my head out of the opening of the tent and glared at the back of Damiens head as he tiptoed around, obviously thinking he was being stealthy enough not to wake anyone up. I ducked back into the tent and pulled my boots on, quickly trotting up to the car, the sturdy knife Shane'd given us the night before tucked safely in my belt. "You leaving without me?" I asked and pouted at him.

"You're an accident waiting to happen." He calmly responded. I threw my hands up in the air and raised my voice somewhat. "Am not! I'm ready. I'll watch your six." Damien turned around and opened his mouth to reply, but I interrupted him. "I'm a grown woman, Dee. If I'm going to live in this fucked up world, I'll need to see some of it."

"The more people we bring, the worse, Jer'." He gestured to the camp a good distance away from us. "Hell, the only reason we're still here is because you're too chicken to go off with me alone." He had a point. As soon as people started flooding in, Damien had wanted to bail - take what we could with us and head back towards Tennessee, but I refused. "They make me feel normal just by being there." I responded. "Please, Dee. I'll feel better if I really know you're safe." I argued, opening the door of the truck and climbing into the passenger seat. I buckled the seatbelt and glared at him until he got in aswell.

"Shane'll have a hissyfit. _We need to keep the women safe, they shouldn't go off doing dangerous things!_" He whispered in a mocking tone. Shane had already made his opinion of who should be doing what in his little group _very_ clear, something Damien had a hard time accepting. "I had several kick-ass women serving alongside me." He'd argue to deaf ears. Eventually, he shut Shane out completely, only tolerating him when he went out of his way to make conversation or ask for a favour.

"Speak of the devil." I hissed as moments later, Shane and Glenn joined us in the truck. "What's she doing here?" They asked in unison, Glenn sounding more happy than Shane, who sank back into the seat, weapon in hand, glaring at the back of my head. Neither of us answered and Damien quickly started the car, driving down the road towards the city.

* * *

We parked the car outside of a gated fence on the outskirts of the city. It was empty and quiet, the only thing making any noise being the four of us climbing to the other side with empty bags. Glenn quickly took lead, sneaking along buildings - safely bringing us towards a large store with all the assorted goods we were sent to find. As quietly and quickly as possibly, we made our way inside. "So far, so good." I breathed as I closed the backdoor behind us, dropping the empty gymbag on the floor with a light thud. Glenn's eyes widened and he looked at me in horror before letting out a low complaint. "Don't_ say_ that!" He groaned and followed Shane and Damien deeper into the building.

Two by two, we cleared the empty rooms leading towards the actual store. Glenn and I kept our distance, making sure we didn't miss anything important as we moved forward - thoroughly going over various cupboards and lockers. "You watchin' my back?" I hissed to Glenn who awkwardly took his place in the middle of the doorway Shane and Dee just passed through. "You bet'cha." He muttered, running a hand through his dirty black hair. "Uh, Jerrica, right?" He asked, making smalltalk as I went over the mostly empty containers on the sink.

"Uhu?" I responded, lazily going over the cans left behind. Glenn fidgeted slightly, looking over his shoulder to make sure we were alone before continuing. "What's with you and Damien?" I shoved the cans into the bag and turned to peer at him. "Whaddya mean?" He looked awfully embarrassed, standing there. He blushed slightly and grimaced. "I mean, you sleep in the same tent.."

I snorted in response, shaking my head. Damien had refused to tell them anything about us, apparently leaving out the fact that we're siblings. I'd thought we looked too alike for anyone to think differantly, but apparently Glenn wasn't as observant as the rest. I hesitated slightly, not knowing how Damien would react if he heard I was being somewhat _friendly_ with one of the _others._ "I love him." Glenns eyes widened and he nodded, opening his mouth to respond, but I cut him off, a small smile on my lips. "He's my brother." He let out a small 'oh' and laughed, rubbing the back of his head and apologizing.

"Jer'? Jer'!" Damien called, returning to the pair of us, glaring daggers at Glenn. "Christ, get a move on, we ain't got all day." I saluted him and rolled my eyes, quickly following suit. The store was huge, which worried me. The big and obvious places were the ones people must've flocked to when the end of the world happened. Families desperate to stock up on food to survive. The place could be littered with the undead. Damien seemed to share my train of thought and firmly grabbed my shoulder, pressing down in a comforting manner.

"Alright, spread out, keep low and quiet. We get what we need and we get out, no need to complicate things. Meet back here in five." He commanded, giving Shane a shove in one direction before guiding me the opposite way. "I'll be a couple of rows over Jer'." He whispered as we walked further away from the door leading out.

I didn't think much of it. It was quiet, no shuffeling of feet and no growling. Feeling safe enough with my brother close by, I started walking down the aisle to secure more supplies. I even managed to pick up a crowbar. I weighed it in my hands before hanging it by its neck in my belt. Seeing as I never learnt how to shoot, the only thing I'd come in with was the knife from the night before. "Never know when you need a crowbar." I muttered to myself.

A rustle was heard behind me and I squeeked as a pair of fleshy hands grabbed me, pulling me over the empty shelf and pushing me down to the floor. I forgot to scream as my eyes fell on, not a rotting corpse, but the smirking rugged face of a man. He placed a dirty finger on my lips and winked at me as I breathed heavily, one of his hands still clutching my arm.

"There we go, sugartits. Keep yer mouth shut and you'll get outta this alive." He pushed my head down to the ground and gestured to a monster of a corpse, bloated and fat, waddeling down the aisle where I'd previously been standing. I wondered how I'd missed it, as it's huge body made the floor whine with every step. It was male, that much I could tell, but it was not tall enough to see over the shelves. I kept still, trying to ignore the man above me. He reeked of alcohol, much like Roger did whenever he came home from a long hard day of work. Somehow, that scared me more than the fat beast walking infront of me. "Lemme go." I hissed, whincing as the crowbar pushed into my hip. "You're hurtin' me." I continued, attempting push the man away. "Shut your trap." He growled into my ear.

Further back, Damien was looking for me. Shane and Glenn had already gathered as much as they could and they were standing by the register, weapons at the ready, waiting for me to show up. My dear old brother frantically searched up and down the aisles, hissing my name. "Jer'! Hey, Jer'! Time's up."

The man pushing me to the ground flinched at the sound of my brother's voice. Growling, he got to his feet, his tall frame suddenly popping up infront of Damiens face. "Oi!" The man rumbled, gaining the attention from both the walking corpse and Damien. "Sergeant Shit-for-brains!" He continued, spitting on the ground next to me. "Yer the last fucker I reckoned I'd see out here. I suggest you _git_, or the damn walkers will be the least of yer problems!" He shouted, ignoring the moan and groan of the bloated corpse as it approached. It reached out for him, almost taking a hold of his sweaty white tanktop, before he turned around - surprisingly agile, and punched it. He repeated the action, bashing the already dead mans head in, until it collapsed next to me. I rolled away, slamming into the man next to me, before getting to my feet and stumbling over to my brother. The man gave the corpse a firm kick, dislodging it's double-dead head from its shoulders.

He wiped the sweat from his brow and took two long steps towards Damien and me, coming chest to chest with him, furious. Damien on the other hand, kept his cool. "Stand down." He said, glaring at the man, who finally cracked up in a laugh, slapping Damien's cheek lightly. "Cheer up, Sarge!" He slurred before promptly collapsing.

"Friend of yours?" Shane muttered as he and Glenn approached. Glenn was clearly amused by the scene. "Did he really just beat up a walker and then _faint_?" He asked in disbelief. Damien sighed and took a hold of my arm, inspecting the bruise that started to form from the man's rough touch. "I wouldn't call him that." He muttered. A voice rang out from the main entrance, where a dirty man with a crossbow at the ready stood. "Wha' would ya call 'im then?" He said calmly, his southern drawl far too similar to the man on the floor. "A son of a bitch." Damien responded and threw my bag over his shoulder. The man at the entrance lowered his weapon slightly and looked at us with furrowed brows. "That's Merle, alright."


	3. Chapter Three - Lover's spat

"You've gotta be shittin' me, Shane." Damien growled at the man who raised his hands in defense. Shane shook his head. "You've got no say in this, Dee." He responded. Damien ignored the use of my nickname for him and grunted in response. The drunk man and the crossbow wielder stood to the side as Damien crossed his arms, positioning himself between the car and Shane. "Merle Dixon is a firestarter. He got _dishonorably _discharged for punching me. Court-maritaled and thrown in jail. He's no good." Shane shrugged and sighed. "We need people. You don't think yourself a part of the group, I don't see what the problem is."

"Think about Lori and the rest of the girls." Damien argued. "And the kids. You think they'd feel safe around this bag of shit?" He growled. I put my hand on his arm and winced. As far as first impressions go, I wasn't a fan of Merle, but seeing as we'd distanced ourselves from the rest, we really had no say in their business. "Dee, he's right. It's really not _our_ business." Damien sighed and brushed my hand off, earning a scowl from Shane.

"Listen to her, bud." Merle shouted, looking like he was having the time of his life. I looked at him curiously, blushing as our eyes locked. He winked at me and flexed his muscles, making me turn my head away. "Like what you see, darl'? Why dont'cha come over here and let ol' Merle show you a _good time_."

Damien snapped his head back and pushed me behind him, slamming me into the car behind him. "Don't even look at her, hick." He hissed. Merle chuckled and lowered his voice. "Don't care to share, Sarge? There's enough fer th' both of us." He licked his lips and I cringed. Dee went for his gun, cocked it and took aim. The man next to Merle had his crossbow up within seconds, aiming it right back at us. Tense as the situation was, the groans of the dead forced _all_ of us into the truck with our belongings. Shane drove this time, Damien forcing me to sit in his lap in the front seat to keep me as far away from the hick duo as he could. "This isn't over, Merle." He practically spat out the mans name. "Ya got it, Sarge." He purred in response and shot me another wink. I cringed again and rested up against my brother. "You were right, Dee." I muttered, making him look at me in surprise. "I should'a stayed put."

* * *

We returned to camp in the afternoon, Lori and her son rushing up to make sure Shane was alright. She offered Damien a small nod in thanks for going with him and paid no further attention to us as we unloaded the car and piled up the supplies by the R.V. Moments later, Shane's entire group flocked around him as he introduced the two new men. "This is Merle and Daryl Dixon." He started, Merle quickly saying something insulting and perverted - making the ladies in the group either clutch on to their children or partners. "They'll be joinin' us from here on out." He turned to the two men, smiling. "I hope we can count on yer help around camp." The younger one, Daryl, shrugged and dragged his things to the outskirts of town, quickly followed by his brother. They didn't stick around for long that day, leaving to retrieve the rest of their things.

Damien relaxed as soon as they left, playfully punching my shoulder. He looked at Shane embracing Carl and shook his head. "Jer', you still set on stayin' here?" He asked, dragging me to the side. I shrugged, looking at the camp.

"We got food and water, Dee. I don't know. If it were just you and me.." I paused, lowering my voice. "What if something happened? To either of us. I couldn't make it alone out there. I know you don't like Shane the least bit and now.. with your old _friend_ around.." I ran a hand through my hair and tightened the bun keeping my locks out of my face. "I don't know." I repeated. Damien sighed and went to our tent, kicking a rock out of his way.

"You never had a problem leaving before, Jer'." He raised his voice and practically spat the words at me before retreating into the tent, leaving me flabbergasted. During the week we'd spent together at the quarry, things had almost started to seem normal between us. He'd joke around as usual, take me out running in the morning and trying to teach me what he knew about surviving. I was hopeless at it, but that was beside the point. He had started to be the brother I once knew, the brother who beat up Billy Jones next door for pulling my hair and teaching me how to get back at him if he ever did it again.

My bottom lip quivered and I resisted the urge to let go of what little self control I had and sob freely, seeing as the curious eyes of the people behind us had seen Dee storm off. I swallowed my feelings for the time being and waved at the group as I headed down to the lake, tired of being smelly and sad.

The water was cool against my heated skin and I let out a sigh as I dried my face on the cleanest part of the hoodie I'd previously worn. Someone cleared their throat behind me and I jolted up, almost falling off the stone slab and into the water. Glenn grimaced at my surprised expression and let out a nervous laugh. I let out a relieved sigh and smiled at him.

* * *

"Hey, Glenn. What's up?" When he didn't respond I rolled my eyes. "Ya gonna ask me why Dee has a stick up his butt, ain't ya?" I asked, turning around and kneeling down by the water, pushing the hoodie underneath the surface, hoping that soaking it would do some good. Atleast it couldn't get any dirtier.

"Uh, yeah, I guess. We all kinda heard that last part. You okay?" Glenn asked, a hint of concern in his voice. I shrugged. "Don't worry 'bout it. Just a little _lover's spat_." He let out a chuckle and walked closer, joining me on the rock. "You know, you could just ask to borrow some soap or something to wash that with. I'm sure noone would mind."

I glanced at him and grinned. "I think I'll risk it. The smell might scare the walkers away." I commented, throwing the now soaking hoodie next to me on the warm stone. "I don't get how you can keep wearing that thing, you must be soaking in sweat daily."

"Are you calling _me_ smelly?" I asked, hand going to my chest as I gasped. "Frankly, I'm insulted!" Glenn let out a hearty chuckle and relaxed. "You know, Jerrica, you're not so bad. Shane has his panties in a twist over you and your brother. Keeps tellin' everybody to be on their watch." I raised my brows and crossed my legs, resting my head in my hand. "Yes, _we're_ the scary ones in this quarry."

"No need to be snarky!" He laughed, raising his hands in defense. "I just said you're not so bad!" He repeated and grinned at me. "Neither are you, Glenn, neither are you."

* * *

I think I sat there on that rock with Glenn for atleast an hour, idly chatting about life before all _this_, actually laughing and enjoying having someone other than Damien to talk to. Our talk was interrupted by an old man, Dale, coming down to tell Glenn they'd fired up the food and that he should come take his share before someone else did. Dale smiled widely at me and offered me his hand to help me get to my feet, which I gladly accepted.

We parted ways as soon as we climbed the hill to the campsite and I slowly walked towards my brother, tail inbetween my legs, the moist hoodie slung over my shoulders. "Hey, Dee." I called gently, throwing the sweater over a low hanging branch of a nearby tree. "Hey, Jer'." He responded, not bothering to look up at me. He was staring down at a map of the area, his calloused fingertips following a path. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Planning." I paused and rested my hands on my hips, leaning forwards slightly to see what he was looking at. "Planning?" I continued as he didn't bother to fill the awkward silence that was building between us. "Alternatives." He looked up from the map and stared at me, his grey eyes finding mine. "Dee.." I started, prepared to convince him that it was better if we stayed put, but he interrupted me by furrowing his brow. "Jerrica. Merle is no better than Roger. I don't want you to have to be around him." He said slowly, eyes still locked to mine.

"I won't hang around him, I'm not stupid." He broke our eyecontact and glared down at the map again. "Sure could'a fooled me." I bit my bottom lip and swallowed hard. "Can we just _not_ do this, Dee." I whispered, only to have him rise to his feet and tower up above me, his 6'3'' making me shrink well below my 5'6'' in comparison. "Can we just not do _what_, Jer'?" He bellowed, making me release my lip and once again fight the urge to cry.

"I'm trying to keep you alive, Jer'! I'm trying to be there for you, like I always do! And how do you repay me? You left us Jer'!" He continued. _Oh boy._ I cringed. "You left mom to take care of dad alone and when he died, where were you?" I closed my eyes. I didn't want to hear it. "She killed herself. She was alone. She couldn't go on alone! You knew that, and what did you do?" He raised his voice further, ignoring the glances we were getting from the rest of the group.

"I was fighting for home, for my family, Jer'! What do you think I felt when I got the call? That I lost my father and my mother and that the only family I had left, you, were nowhere to be found?" He put his hands on my arms and pressed down hard, not at all like he did when he tried to offer some form of comfort. "You left everything! And now, you can't? Not even for your only family?"

Damien was livid, shaking me like a ragdoll. "H-hey, Damien, relax man, you'll attract every dead thing within miles." Glenn's voice woke him from his tantrum and he looked down at me and his hands, releasing me as if my skin had burnt him. "Shit." Damien cursed and turned around, punching the tree by our tent. "Shit." He continued, resting his forehead against it.

I blinked back the tears that had started to form and smiled at Glenn who'd walked up to us. "It's okay now, Glenn. Thanks." I whispered. "Dee?" I started, gentle as always. He remained silent, his back turned to me. "I know that you're angry. I am too, at myself." Images from my years with Robert flashed before my eyes and I chocked back a sob. "I was weak and I guess I still am. I just can't leave again. You're here and if you're here, I can't lose you again." I muttered. "Right?"

Damien remained silent, but his shoulders slumped slightly as I spoke. I walked up to him and put a hand on his muscular back. "I know everything is gone, Dee. But being around people makes me feel like I could actually build something again." I paused. "If you really want to leave.." I hesitated, feeling him tense up again under my touch. "I'll go anywhere with you. If that's what you really want."

Glenn awkwardly backed up. "Right, this is getting very private, I'll just go." He said and motioned back to camp before trotting off. I smiled and hugged my brother from behind. "Be angry all you want, I'm with you, _Sarge_." His chest rumbled as he laughed, standing up straight and whiping his eyes. "Shut up." He grinned and managed to pull me into a proper hug, kissing the top of my head. "Sorry, Jer'. I shouldn't have blown up at you. Seeing that ol' shitbird today riled me up good." He muttered into my hair before letting me go.

"_Really?_ I couldn't tell!" I cried at him and stuck out my tongue before taking a seat by our little fire. "You wanna tell me 'bout 'im?"

* * *

Damien took me back to the time he first had the pleasure to meet Merle Dixon, telling me about how he - on his first day - managed to beat up the biggest guy in his platoon. _"I swear, the dickbag was on fire! It'd be like wrestling a fuckin' bear! He had hands _**this**_ big!" _Dee might have exaggerated a bit, but he was so excited telling me about his time in the army. He explained how one day, despite the fact that Merle had a good head on his shoulder, managed to get his hands on some bad shit and tweaked out on Dee, who at the time was his C.O and managed to punch him square in the face.

We sat up late, until the embers finally died out. "I didn't mean what I said, Jer'." Damien said as he slumped down onto his make-shift bed. It was pitch black in the tent, but I didn't need to see him to know that he was frowning. "If I'd known Rog' was such a manipulative bastard, I wouldn't have -" I stopped him by clearing my throat loudly and crawling into my sleeping bag. "Shuddup and sleep." I responded, earning a chuckle from the only family I had left.


	4. Chapter Four - Flowers and Frying Pans

Early the next morning, Dee and I went over our supplies. We were starting to run low on any form of canned food, even though he'd managed to fish up most of what we'd eat on a daily basis. "Maybe you would consider, I don't know, not being grumpy and go be a part of the community?" I mocked, having him scowl at me. "Maybe Shane wants another favor. You could be cuddle-buddies." I teased and squeeled as I got a firm shove from my brother.

Somehow, I think I managed to convince him to give them a chance. I knew from experience that Glenn was a nice guy, so I pushed Damien in his direction to apologize for being so loud yesterday, and in the meanwhile I stalked over to Lori and her kid, drawing and talking to another mother and her kid. I didn't really know how to start, but I never had to.

Lori's kid, Carl, spotted me before I could announce my presence and decidedly held up his drawing to me. "What do you think?" He asked, grinning from ear to ear. It was a picture of his mom and what I assumed was his dad, holding hands with him playing in the background.

"A real piece of art, kiddo." I said and kneeled down beside them. Lori smiled carefully at me and offered a small nod as a greeting. Carl pointed to the little girl sitting opposite of him. "That's Sophia. She's pretty cool_, for a girl_. And that's her mom, Carol." I smiled towards the pair, who shrunk somewhat and let out very meek greetings.

"Hi Sophia, Carol. What are you drawing?" I asked and peered at the two. Sophia pressed her drawing to her chest, looking at her mother in panic. I blinked at her before sitting down completely next to Carl. "Can I borrow your pen, kiddo?" I asked and smiled as he handed it to me. I pulled a piece of paper out of the stack they had on the table and began to doodle, whistling to myself.

I drew long petals that eventually turned into a mess of a flower and grimaced. "I'm not very good at drawings, but I like flowers." I commented to noone in particular and continued to draw. "I used to work as a florist. Got to make all kinds of pretty bouquets." I continued to speak, glancing at the shy little girl. "Tulips are my all-time favorite flower, you know." I held up my drawing to Sophia and smiled. "Especially orange ones!" She offered a small smile and released the now crumpled piece of paper, smoothing it out on the make-shift table. "It's my mama and me." She whispered, following the lines of her drawing with her fingers. "We're playing in a flowerfield."

Sophia frowned slightly. "I can't draw flowers very well either." She commented and looked at my drawing. I giggled. "I guess we have that incommon." I decided and handed the pen back to Carl before reaching over to the girl. "You can have mine, maybe we'll find some crayons or something, so you can color in the flowers with your favorite color?" I asked, our eyes meeting briefly, making her blush and look away. I took her silence as a yes as she grabbed the piece of paper and put it beside her own.

I turned to look at Lori, grimaced slightly as she lifted a brow in question. "Now, I came here to ask you something." She lifted the other one before nodding. "Go ahead." Her voice was melodic and sweet and I immediately smiled at her. "Could I borrow something to wash my clothes with? I've been told I'm _smelly_!" I whispered loudly, having Carl and Sophia snicker in response. Lori's face softened and her smile really reached her eyes this time. "We can make that happen."

With Lori's promise of soap, I skipped back to our tent to gather all the dirty clothes we'd managed to hold on to these past nine days. I caught Damien's eye as I walked past him with all of our dirty clothes and he looked at me in shock, mouthing towards me. "_You're going to do laundry_?" I laughed at his expression as I was joined by Lori and Carol, who walked me down to the lake with an offer of soap and company.

I was grateful that they followed me down, because I quickly admitted I had no idea what I was doing. Lori laughed as I fiddled with the clothing and guided my hands until I got the idea. "It's Jerrica, right?" Lori asked as she went on with her own laundry. I nodded in response and somehow managed to soak myself in soapy water. "So, how long have you an Damien been together?" She continued, curiously, glancing at me as I struggled with Damiens dirty underwear. I blinked at her innocently. "For as long as I can remember, why?" She cringed slightly. "I mean, since the end of the world." I let out a sigh. "Oh, I guess about eleven days?" Lori nodded and smiled sadly, her hands still fidgeting with the clothes in her hands.

"Shane came to get me and Carl two days before Atlanta went down. We drove into the city and then turned around when we saw what it was like. It was horrible." Lori murmured, wringing her hands. Carol didn't chime in, but she nodded along.

"We had to leave Carl's dad, my husband, in the hospital." She continued and I stared at the water, not sure why she decided to share with me. "I don't mean that I know how you must've felt like, leaving your family behind." I flinched and looked at her. She flushed red. "I didn't mean to snoop, but Damien was shouting and I just.." Lori paused and looked down at the water again, staring at her reflection. "It's not easy to live with."

I considered telling the two women about Roger, but instead I kept my mouth shut and worked away at the laundry. We finished just as Glenn came running down the hill, sweaty and exhausted. "Sorry to interrupt ladies!" He breathed and grimaced, looking at me. "You might wanna go up and stop your brother from beating a couple of hicks into the ground."

* * *

Dropping the clean and wet clothes, I jumped to my feet and jogged up the hill, passing Dale on the way. "Hurry up, girl, they're not happy!" He called after me and I raised my hand to show that I'd heard him. I could hear the shouting before I could see them, Shane with both hands on Damiens chest, pushing him away from the burly Dixon cussing him out, his brother pulling on his arm. "He ain't worth it Merle, jus' git!" Daryl shouted at the taller man, who easily brushed his hand off. "This piece o' shit got me canned and thrown in the slammer, lil' brother!"

Damien easily flung Shane to the side and the two collided head on in a flurry of punches and kicks. Daryl, having his brother back, jumped into the fray, managing to get his arms around Damien, locking him up and leaving him wide open to Merles frenzied punches. I reacted without a trace of hesitation and picked up whatever was closest. Before Daryl or Merle could react to me approaching, I swung the item at the back of the latter one's head, knocking him on his ass. My arms were shaking at the weight of the cast iron frying pan in my hands.

"Bitch!" Daryl cried out, letting go of Damien to walk up to me. "I ain't ever hit a girl before!" He hollered as he pushed me firmly, making me fall on my back. Letting go of my brother, however, proved to be a mistake. Daryl hit the ground before he could take another step, joining his brother in the dirt. Damien groaned in pain and slumped to his knees next to me.

"You a'right, sis?" He muttered, prying the pan out of my hands. I nodded, still staring at the man I'd managed to knock out. "He's not d-dead is he?" I stuttered. Daryl came into a half sit and shook his head. "Takes more than tha' to get Merle." He answered bitterly, glaring at the pair of us. Shane quickly took control of the scene after that, sending Daryl to his tent with Merle, to take care of his brother, before turning to me and Damien.

"I thought you two said you weren't gon' be a problem 'round here." He sighed and stifled a laugh as Lori walked up, horrified. "What happened to the pan?" She asked, looking around in horror. That broke the tension that had built up around us and the people around us, aswell as me and Dee, shared a laugh before we were tended to. We got away no worse for wear, just a bit sore. Damien helped me hang the clean laundry with Lori and Carol, thanking them for bringing our stuff with them back from the lake, before he scurried back to the tent to recuperate.

I groaned as I took a seat in the grass next to Lori and her kid. "You sure you're alright?" She asked, eyeing me up and down. I nodded. "My _butt_ has felt better, but I'm pretty sure I'll live." She clapped her hands together. "Fantastic, then you can come with me and look for berries after we've made dinner. One of the guys will come along, so we'll be safe." She said and beamed at me. I laid back in the grass and let out a sigh. "I'm starting to see why Dee was so reluctant to join you guys, it's all work and no play." Carl tickled my ear with a piece of grass and smiled widely. "Only if you're old!"

* * *

The next few days actually seemed pretty normal. Damien and I went for our morning runs, I helped Lori and the other women out with their chores and spent alot of time with the kids. Sophia and Carl were great - Carl always had some input on what was going on in the camp. Whenever we were laughing and smiling too much, a cloud of pain seemed to cross his face. He shrugged it off, trying to be brave. I couldn't blame him. Everyone in camp had lost someone. Carl had probably lost his dad, and having a brief moment of happiness in a situation like this would make anyone feel guilty.

Sophia on the other hand, was still shy as ever around me, speaking quietly and politely whenever adressed. I tried desperately to ignore the fact that over the span of a few days, Carol's husband had already beaten her twice. No matter how much it reminded me of Roger, I forced myself to look the other way and not get in the middle of it. Damien however, spent most of his time arguing with Shane about how the camp should be run - discussing different ways to get Ed to leave his family alone or make sure Merle wasn't tweaking out or bothering the rest of the folks at the quarry.

We fell into a pattern like this, and we grew comfortable.


	5. Chapter Five - Whirlwind of emotions

One morning, I woke up to the sound of cars leaving the driveway. The tent was empty and as I stuck my head out I half expected to see Damien opening a can of peaches for breakfast. But he wasn't there. By now, I was familiar with most of the people around camp, so much that one of the blonde sisters, Amy, had offered me a change of clothes. I was thankful for the gesture, as I was tired of running around in my jeans and hoodie day out and day in. The only things I'd managed to bring with me when Dee picked me up in Tennessee were the clothes off my back. Amy'd offered me a pair of pink shorts and a t-shirt, so I had something to battle the heat in. The only problem was the difference in size between us. The shorts were far too short on my body and the t-shirt kept riding up to reveal my midriff.

I'd never been skinny, but over the weeks spent living on the bare necessities, my figure had lost some of it's shape. I felt naked in Amy's clothes, but the heat had really started to drive people crazy - and in this time and age, I'd pick naked over crazy any day.

Walking out of the tent in my borrowed clothes was a strange sensation. I kept looking around for my brother and maybe most of all, Merle Dixon. If anything, my outfit would earn some unwanted attention from the eldest redneck. It took me several minutes to find anyone that was awake, the sun not yet high on the sky. The fact that a group had left for the city this early was nothing out of the ordinary. Most of us preferred to get an early start. It was just better that way. I looked around camp, my eyes eventually adjusting to the already unusually bright light.

Dale was sitting in the shade by his R.V, resting his head against the vehicle with a book in his hands. I trotted over to him, curious about who'd left earlier. "Mornin' dear." He called as I approached him, not looking up from his book. "Must'a read this thing atleast twenty times by now." He muttered and chuckled, folding an ear on the page he was on before setting it aside and patting the chair next to him. "Mornin'. You seen Dee anywhere? He gone to get supplies?" I asked, looking around, still expecting to see my brother pop out behind a tree or climb the hill from the lake. Dale shook his head and cleared his throat. "Pretty sure he went off with the gang today." I nodded. That wasn't unusual.

"Who headed out this time?" I asked walking up to the chair next to the beloved old man, sitting down and crossing my legs. He hesitated and wiped his brow. When he didn't answer I furrowed my brow. "Dale?"

He fanned himself with a hand and laughed nervously. "It's gonna be a hot one today." He remarked, glancing to the side. I grabbed his hand, making him look at me. Our eyes locked and tilted my head. "Dale? Who wen't with Dee?" The old man smiled sadly and squeezed my hand. "He wen't with Jaqui, T-Dog, Morales, Glenn and Andrea." I breathed a sigh of relief. If Glenn was with him, chances of them getting around in the city was increased. "And Merle." I flinched, looking at Dale in horror.

"What?!" I cried, my voice rising, threatening to wake the camp up. "Why would Dee go with _him_ of all people? Why didn't anyone stop him?" I continued. Dale put a finger to his lips and hushed me, waiting a moment to see if the camp would finally stir awake. "Shit, sorry." I whispered, having Dale grimace in response. "It wasn't planned, but when Merle said he'd go, your brother decided to come with. Keep him under control." I closed my eyes for a good few seconds before inhaling sharply. "Fantastic."

We stayed like that for a while, Dale trying to reassure me, telling me that Damien was a grown man with military training, he would be able to fend for himself if push comes to shove. The sun glared down at us and I wiped the sweat building on my forehead with my arm. "I'll go clean up. If anyone wakes up and heads down, could you?" I didn't explain, but Dale seemed to get the gist of it. I swung my arms for momentum and got to my feet in one swift motion, waving to Dale as I trotted down the hill to the lake.

He must've understood that I'd have trouble sitting still while my brother was off with Merle _fucking_ Dixon. Assuming noone would wake up for another few minutes, I walked up to the water, pulled off my boots along with the borrowed shorts and t-shirt. I gave one last glance around before I stepped out of my underwear, leaving them in a pile on a dry rock.

The water was surprisingly cold. As I slipped further into the lake, the sting of the cold that made my skin redden slowly faded. Feeling brave enough, I pulled the ribbon normally keeping my messy bun together out of my hair, soaking my head. The water helped me untangle the hairy mess. I stayed afloat in the water for a couple of minutes, before swimming back towards the shore. As soon as I could stand, I spent my remainder of time in the water scrubbing what I could reach with my hands, trying to wash away the feeling lingering in my gut.

The red ribbon I'd used to keep my hair at bay these past two weeks was worn out and dangerously close to breaking. "I'll have to ask Amy if she has any spares." I muttered as I pulled it over my hand, securing it on wrist. Until I had a backup, it was best to try to make it last.

Feeling clean enough, I stepped out of the lake - in my naked glory. I lingered for a moment, closing my eyes to soak in the sun. The sound of a branch snapping made me spin around. I searched for a weapon, thinking that the sight infront of me was a threat. I paused as the figure came to a stop, staring at me from the edge of the forest.

Initially I assumed that one of the men had woken up to go relieve themselves, but from the distance I couldn't recognize who it was. The man, or whoever it was, didn't move a muscle and neither did I, until I became very aware of my condition. I slowly leaned forward, bringing one arm up to my chest, awkwardly trying to cover myself. With my free hand, I pulled up the shirt, pressing it against my bare skin - all while keeping my eyes locked on the figure. It would've been one thing if someone from camp had accidentally spotted me, but the potential of this being a stranger made me very aware of where I was. _I'm unarmed and naked, alone. Dale is awake. If I scream, he will hear me. _I repeated mentally, neither of us moving.

The sound of something crashing through a bush distracted me and when I finally looked back at where the man had stood, he was gone. I finally let myself succumb to the embarrassment and panic that hid in my chest. I quickly dressed myself, running up the hill to the camp barefoot, my ears burning from the awkwardness of the situation.

Dale waved as I rushed past him to my tent, my wet hair staining the thin t-shirt.

"Today couldn't get much worse, could it?" I murmured to myself.

* * *

When I finally managed to gather enough courage to leave the tent, Amy had awaken. She was sitting next to Dale, complaining over the fact that Andrea had left without telling her. She smiled at me as I walked up, twirling her finger in the air. I rolled my eyes and spinned for her. She laughed quietly as the shirt rode up my stomach. "I can steal a shirt off Andrea for you. Might be a better fit?" She offered. I waved my hand dismissively. "What? And deprive you of the show?" I stuck my tongue out to her and she shook her head, smacking Dale on the arm when he agreed with me.

Amy got to her feet and sneaked into the R.V, coming back out with a brush in her hands. She sat down on the low chair again, pointing to the grass infront of her. "Come sit!" She insisted. I hesitated for a moment but eventually gave in, getting the brightest smile possible from the younger woman. She started by running her fingers through my long, thick, brown hair. "Jerri, I barely know anything about you." She hummed as she untangled a nasty knot. "How old are you, anyways?" I tilted my head back to look at her, smiling.

"I'll be twenty-nine this winter." I responded and wrinkled my nose, grinning even wider. "Really? I woulda put ya 'round Andreas age." She responded and pushed my head back so she could work ony m hair. I feigned distress and gasped. "I'm not sure if that's an insult or compliment!" She finally untangled what she could, picking up the brush and carefully starting to pull it through my hair.

"Did you go to college?" She asked as the warm summer morning rolled on, people starting to stir awake in their tents. I hesitated before answering. "Yeah. I did, for a year or so. Fell in love and dropped out. Followed the guy to Tennessee." Amy gasped and leaned closer, putting her chin on the top of my head. "Oh my, sounds like beginning of some romance novel!" She and Dale snickered and I froze up. "Not to be like that, but I'd rather not.." I muttered. Amy quickly went back to brushing my hair. "Ofcourse." She murmured, putting one hand on my shoulder. "He's not with you, I should have realised. I'm sorry."

Dale spoke before I could correct her or change the topic. "My wife died, too." He spoke with such sadness that I couldn't help but to put my hand on his leg in comfort. He smiled at the gesture and shook his head. "I lost my Irma before all of this. Had almost given up. Strange how it takes knowing you have nothing left to find the will to go on." I could hear the smile on Amy's face when she spoke. "It'll be alright Dale, it's gonna get better one of these days."

Amy's positive attitude was almost too much to take. She let go of the brush and separated my hair into three parts, expertly braiding my moist hair into a tight braid. Seeing Shane scramble out of his tent reminded me of what happened by the lake earlier and I quickly got to my feet. Amy beamed up at me and I ruffled her hair before striding towards Shane.

I didn't quite know how to put what happened without sounding like a frail woman. I grimaced at the thought and quickly shook it off before taking the last steps towards the self-proclaimed leader of the camp. "Shane, you got a minute?"

He spun around and folded his arms, his nostrils flared. "What do _you_ want? I didn't tell Dee to go, he did it out of his own free will!" I blinked and took a step back in shock. "It's not about th-" I started, being cut off when he promptly stormed towards Lori and Carl. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of his bed today." I stated, looking back at Dale and Amy by the R.V. Seems like they were as shocked as I was. _Fine_. I thought, silently cursing as I walked back to my tent. "Guess it doesn't matter there's a pervert creepin' round the woods." I muttered and pulled out the last can we had from underneath Damiens bed, carefully opening it.

I retreated to the shade, eating the sugary fruit with my fingers. Atleast they were clean. I closed my eyes and tried to relax my body, but yet again, I couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling growing in my gut.

* * *

The Atlanta-group didn't arrive back at camp until several hours later. The wait was almost tortuous. I'd paced back and forth through camp for a good amount of time, keeping my eyes on the road leading to the quarry, waiting for any sign of their return.

Soon enough, the roar of engines approached the camp. I ran towards the noise, beating everyone else to the cars. A man stepped out of the truck Damien usually drove, a man I didn't recognize. I heard Carl gasp out "_Dad?!_" but everything else was replaced by the blood pumping through my veins. Time started to slow down and it felt like everyone moved in slowmotion. I recognized face after face. _Jaqui. T-Dog. Morales. Andrea. Glenn._

I stopped breathing. My throat seemed to thicken up as I looked around wildly, the ribbon keeping my braid together finally giving up, letting the curls fly free. "Dee?" I called, my voice raspy. I tried again, my voice failing me. I cleared my throat and desperately tried to blink the tears out of my eyes. _He had to be there._ "Dee?" I yelled, Glenn catching me as I slumped forward. I half laughed and half sobbed, grabbing Glenn's shirt. "Where is he?"

Everyone hesitated, looking among themselves. I pulled myself up, using Glenn as support and ran up to Andrea, forcing her to look at me. "Where is he?!" She stubbornly glanced to the side, staring at the ground, her lips pushing into a thin line. I felt all the color fade from my face. Amy ran up to me, her eyes tearing up at my reaction. "Jerri.." She started, reaching out for me. I avoided her touch like it was going to burn me, pushing away from everyone, sinking into a crying pile by the warm cars that had brought them home without my brother. _And Merle._

It took almost an hour until the stranger, Carl's dad, walked up to me. He pushed his hat to his chest and took a knee beside me. I hadn't moved since I broke down, still holding on to the hope that he'd be walking down the road, pissed as hell at the group who left him behind. He was stubborn enough for that. I was sure. "Ma'am, my name is Rick Grimes. Lori's husband." I nodded, mouth open, breathing heavily. Barely registering his words. "We got into a spot ot trouble on the way out. Your brother, Damien, he.." Rick stopped, looking at the ground infront of him. "We wouldn't have gotten out if not for him. We got separated." I kept nodding, not bothering to hold back the tears as he spoke.

My voice was raspy when I whispered the question I didn't want answered. "Is he dead?" Rick sighed heavily and scratched his beard. "To be honest, ma'am. I don't know. None of us saw 'im go down." I turned my head towards Officer Friendly and narrowed my eyes. My cheeks were stained with tears and my nose was running. I must have looked pathetic. Temporarily pushing my sorrow to the side, I got to my feet, almost pushing Rick over in my hurry to stand.

"What do you mean you don't know? Either he's dead or you left a good man in a city overrun with nightmares to die alone. On his own." My voice trembled and I breathed heavily, clenching my fists. Rick bowed his head, obviously feeling guilty over what had happened. He sounded genuinely sorry as he spoke. "I have every intention of finding out."

It almost didn't matter. I wanted to hurt him right then and there. He put an arm on my shoulder, his hand almost feeling like Dee's. I didn't register the fact that tears were flowing freely down my face again.

I pushed past Rick, past the worried faces of Amy and Dale and ignored their voices as they called my name. I picked up the pace and blasted past Lori who reached out for me, Carl pressed to her side. I ran straight into the woods, diving over shrubbery and tripping over roots. More voices cried out my name behind me, but what did it matter. Somehow, Dee was out there alone.

And now, so was I.


	6. Chapter Six - Dixons are tough

I must have stumbled around for hours, lost in the woods, looking for Dee in all the wrong places. In a lucid moment I cursed myself for not waking up earlier and stopping him, or coming with him. The forest closed in on me and the small sounds of various animals made me realise one important detail. I was unarmed. I looked up at the sky, rubbing the tears out of my eyes. It was still bright somewhere up there, I would still have plenty of time to get back to camp before it got dark. _If_ I could find my way back to camp.

Nothing around me looked familiar anymore. I shrieked as I tripped over yet another root. This time, I stayed down, throwing my fists into the ground like a child throwing a temper tantrum. I was dirty, hungry and lost. I was just about to pull myself together when a familiar voice rang out above me.

"Ya retarded or somethin'?"

I gave the ground one last punch before I pushed myself upright, staring up at Daryl Dixon's face. He was just as dirty as I was, his crossbow slung over his shoulder. "Ya out here alone? Where's ya dog?" He drawled, raising an eyebrow at the reaction his words caused in me. The mention of Dee made my eyes well up and without explaining myself, I burst out crying. "Calm down, sheesh." Daryl muttered down at me, tapping his foot while waiting for me to stop crying. "C'mon." He breathed, obviously annoyed. "Git. Not gon' be safe much longer."

He forcefully pulled me to my feet, rolling his eyes as I stumbled. I brushed his hand off my arm and glared at him before my eyes softened. "You don't know?" I whispered, whiping the last trace of tears off my face. "Dee didn' come back." Daryl froze up and looked at me, his eyes expressing some sort of conflicted emotion. "Shit." He simply said and I nodded in agreement, biting my tongue. I wasn't sure if Merle had returned either. I didn't want to upset him without being sure.

He led me through the forest in silence, setting the pace and stopping every so often to make sure I was still trailing behind him. I did my best to keep up, seeing as we were going to run out of daylight eventually. Something told me he'd want to head back as quickly as possible. Daryl had a bunch of squirrels tied to a string around his belt. I hadn't realised he'd supplied the group with meat until now. "Thanks." I murmured.

Suddenly, he came to a stop. I thought he wanted to ask why I thanked him, but instead he held his arm out, signaling me to stop and probably shut the hell up. I held my breath as he gently moved the crossbow to his hands, expertly putting an arrow to rest and shooting. As the thud of something hit the ground I breathed again. "Walker?" I asked and peered over his shoulder.

I suppose I score points for being half-right.

Daryl had shot a deer, a long way ahead of us. I was silently impressed with his aim and skill, but by the time we got to the deer - several people in the camp had already found it. They stood there, gathered around the fallen deer and a gurgling walker. Apparently Daryl hadn't been the only one hunting the animal. He walked up to the group and cursed loudly, jolting back when the walker snarled at him. "Don'tcha know nothin'? Gotta get 'em in the brain!" He shouted and fired another bolt into the head of the now double dead corpse. "You reckon we can still cook the deer up? Maybe cut around the bite?" He asked. Shane shook his head. "Don't wanna risk it."

He became enraged at the sight of the deer, swearing at the corpse for taking his kill, giving it swift kick after swift kick. "Pretty sure it's dead." I muttered. Eyes suddenly turned to me and the first person to reach me was Amy. She quickly pulled me into her arms and I muttered an apology for tearing up her shirt during my rampage through the woods and once again, fell apart.

As I sobbed into Amy's chest, Daryl's shouts for his brother to show his lazy ass echoed throughout the camp. When we finally walked back into camp, Shane had Daryl in a headlock, restraining the furious man as he cursed every last one of the sorry _son's o' bitches_ who left his brother in Atlanta. I was confused at first, but the rest of them talking quickly filled in the gaps. "He's alright!" T-Dog shouted over Daryl's screams. "I locked the roof door. The geeks won't be able to get to him!" I blinked. _They left Merle on a roof in Atlanta?_

"Jus' tell me where he's at so I can go get 'im!" He growled as soon as Shane released him from his grip. Lori stepped up and shook her head, sighing. "He'll show you. Won't you?" Rick nodded towards his wife and walked up to her, apologizing for what he was going to have to do. "I left a man chained to a rooftop. That just ain't right." Rick spoke, nodding towards Daryl. "I'll come with." T-Dog spoke up again.

"I'll go too. It's my fault he's up there." Rick smiled before his eyes travelled to Glenn who looked on in horror. "Oh, c'mon!" He cried out and shook his head. "Fine. You won't make it in silently without me anyway." He muttered.

It wasn't me who spoke next, but the young woman next to me, with her arm wrapped around my shoulder. "What about Jerri's brother?" She said softly, her voice drowning everyone elses.

Daryl locked eyes with me and I could have sworn I saw something there, understanding how I was feeling. He opened his mouth and his face returned to it's normal frown. "We'll get 'im. Ain't that right?"

And with all of my heart, in that very moment, I believed him.

* * *

When I finally gathered enough strenght to move away from Amy's comforting embrace, the sun was nearing it's descent. "We've got a couple of hours left." Rick stated, gathering what weapons he had. Daryl stood by the truck, impatient, bouncing in his step. He was fired up, ready to go save his brother. Before I could think, I found myself in me and Damien's tent, his 9mm beretta in my hand. I had no idea how to use it, but I had to bring it. It was Damien's gun. I took up the crowbar I picked up on my first run to Atlanta, aswell as the hunting knife that had been given to me and secured them both on my person.

Determined, I walked up to the four men ready to head out, getting into the backseat before any of them could protest. "She's a liability!" Shane yelled as Rick opened the door on the driver's side. "It's her brother." Daryl snapped, jumping into the passenger seat, our eyes briefly meeting in the rear-view mirror. I closed my eyes and mentally thanked him, not finding the right words.

We drove quickly, approaching the damned city much faster than I'd anticipated. I had planned to ask one of the guys to show me how to use the gun, but my mind travelled far away and I didn't snap back until the doors swun open. Glenn pulled me out of the car and made me look at him. "You have to focus, Jerrica." I swallowed hard, looking him in the eyes. "Listen to me, okay? We'll go to where we left Merle and take it from there." One nod sufficed as response, because in the next heartbeat, we were sneaking down the road, relying on Daryl's silent weapon to take out the walkers in our way.

Hacking and slashing our way to the top of the department store was surprisingly easy, and just as T-Dog had said, the rooftop was void of walkers. It was also void of Merle. "Where?" Daryl growled at the men who pointed to the pipes a couple of feet away. Daryl took a couple of long steps before coming to a halt, completely freezing up. The only thing infront of his were the handcuffs used to chain Merle to the roof, a hacksaw and what I assumed was Merle's hand, lying in a pool of blood.

Rick, T-Dog and Glenn kept their distance but I couldn't help but to walk closer to Daryl. _If it had been Dee's hand and Dee's blood.._ I gasped as Daryl, shocked and angered at the sight infront of him, let out a stifled sob and fell to his knees in tears. I didn't know much about the brothers, but I'd never expect to see either of them this emotional. _If it had been Dee._ I thought again, kneeling down next to Daryl, putting a hand on his tightly clenched fist. He didn't move out of my touch as he cried, but he made no effort to accept or acknowledge my presance.

When he finally pulled himself together, his anger at what had happened to his brother took over completely. He got to his feet and in one swift motion, his crossbow was planted firmly in his hands. He raised it, pointing it at T-Dogs bald head. "This is _your_ fault, nigger!" He roared, dangerously close to pulling the trigger. Rick carefully moved closer to Daryl, pulling his gun out of it's holster. "He could still be alive." He said calmly, making Daryl lower his weapon under the threat of the gun.

In a huff, Daryl secured his crossbow over his shoulder and walked up to the severed hand, picking it up and wrapping it in a cloth. He gestured for Glenn to come closer and without a word, shoved the hand in his backpack. I'd remained seated for the heated exchange, staring at the men silently. Glenn's face suddenly came into my vision and he wrinkled his nose.

"Jerrica? You with us?" His was drowned out by the sounds of blood rushing through my head and I nodded at him, somehow managing to get to my feet. "Maybe she shouldn't have come." He mouthed to Rick, who glanced at me suspiciously. Daryl sneered at them and shrugged. "If she dies, it ain't gon' be on my watch."

But I didn't listen to them anymore. The puddle of blood was already drying up under the heated sun, and narrowing my eyes I managed to notice smaller drops running along the rooftop. "There's a trail of blood!" I croaked, earning a small smile from Rick. _Maybe we'd find him after all._

We made haste, not wasting another second on the roof as we kept our eyes on the small trail of blood leading to wherever Merle had gone. Eventually, it led us to a room with two walkers, already killed by someone. The guys exchanged a look, whisteling lowly and expressing their awe that Merle had managed to take on two walkers with only one hand. Daryl shrugged it off, smirking at the trio. "Ofcourse. Dixons are tough."

The room smelled worse than rooms full of corpses usually do, which Glenn remarked, obviously thinking along the same lines as I did. My eyes fell on an ironsteak weight, covered in blackened, extremely smelly, material. "What is that?" I whispered, gesturing to the object. The youngest Dixon quickly walked up to it, smirking again. "Son'o'va bitch. Tough bastard cauterized the stump!" He drawled and let out a snort. "It's covered in burnt skin." Daryl smirked in triumph at the impressed faces around him. "Told ya, Dixons are tough."

"You guys?" Glenn called out moments later, standing by the only window in the room. It had been smashed, the remaining shards of glass slightly stained with blood. The window faced the back alley, giving a small view of the main road outside. "He must'a gone out on the street." Daryl muttered and pushed Glenn out of the way, sticking his upper half out the window, ready to follow and track his brother down. "What about the guns?" T-Dog spoke up, Rick and Glenn dragging Daryl back inside.

"Guns?" I asked, confused. "What guns?" Glenn grinned in response and gestured to Rick. "When he rode into the city, he had a bag full o' guns with him. Left 'em in the street. They aren't far from here." I raised my eyebrows and stared at the young asian man. "I've got a plan!"

* * *

We split up shortly after that, Daryl and Glenn staying behind while me, Rick and T-Dog moved up two blocks to wait for them. "This isn't gonna work!" I hissed at the two men at my side. "We should be lookin' for Dee, not your stupid guns." They shared a glance and looked at me with worry in their eyes as I flung my hair over my shoulder, twisting it between my fingers. If they had something to say about it, they didn't get a chance to as a scream cut through the air. "Shit!" T-Dog cursed and along with Rick, set off towards where we'd left Glenn and Daryl.

They didn't look back to make sure I was with them as they sprinted away, which made me hesitate. I lingered in the alley for a moment, hand still firmly tugging on my hair. And then I made a decision. Dee had to be out there somewhere. Convinced I'd be able to find him on my own, I turned around and headed in the opposite direction of the group, searching high and low for any sign of my brother.

I made my way across block after block, calling Dee's name softly every couple of seconds, hoping that if he was out there, he'd find me before I found him. He had to know _someone_ would come back for him. I don't know how long I spent jogging around the city, but the only attention I seemed to gain was the unwanted attention of the occasional walker. I managed to outrun and lose one, just to run into another. I lost count of how many times I was forced to take an unexpected turn because of the living corpses blocking my way. I ran around in a daze, yelling my brother's name until my throat ran dry.

Finding myself out of options, I heaved myself over a fence, falling to the dirty ground with a loud thump. Up ahead, something caught my eye. Blinking the dust out of my eyes, I clambered to my feet, hoarsely calling out to the figure. The man was about Dee's height and with my blurred vision, I'd grown convinced that it was him. As I closed up, the man turned around, his face twisting into a smile as his eyes set on me. My heart stopped. It wasn't him. My legs were burning from my run around the city, but instinct kicked in - having me turn around and run, sprinting away from the stranger as fast as my tired feet could take me.

"_Afferarse, chica!_" The man hollered behind me before setting off in a run, quickly closing up on me. Panic filled my chest, I had to get out of there. I must have taken a wrong turn, because I soon found myself cornered. The man was larger than Damien, his chubby face lighting up as he finally came to a stop a couple of feet away from me. "_Hola chica._" He panted, leaning forward to catch his breath. My hands found the crowbar hanging in the waistband of the pink shorts I was wearing. I raised it in response to him taking a step closer, making him hold up his hands in defense.

"I ain't gonna hurt ya, _chica_." He said calmly. "How do I know that?" I spat back, crowbar at the ready. "You don't." He admitted and lowered his hands. "But I think I know your friend." My heart stopped and I lowered my weapon. _Dee_. In the split second it took me to lower my guard, the man had managed to close the distance between us, grabbing hold of my arm and dragging me back to where I first saw him.

"Don't worry, he's unharmed." I gasped as he pushed me into the building where he'd stood when I'd taken a tumble over the fence. The inside of the buildning was dark compared to outside and I blinked several times, hoping my eyes would adjust to the new light quickly. As soon as the door closed behind us, the man let go of my arm, giving me a pat on the back, dust flaring up around us. He ordered another man in the room to get me a glass of water, which I accepted, pushing away the burning sensation in my throat.

I heard talking and low music from a doorway up ahead and with a nod, the man allowed me to walk towards it. I limped slightly as I made my way into a much brigther room, taking shallow breaths. "Your friend is in there, _chica_, go see for yourself." The man called behind me, making me stumble faster. My heart beat faster than it ever had before as I stepped into the room, temporarily blinded. I shielded my eyes from the sun glaring in through a window, reflecting on the white walls.

"Jerrica?"

* * *

_Afferarse - _hang on

_Chica - _girl/cutie

_Hola_ - hello


	7. Chapter Seven - Demise

"Glenn." I said, my heart sinking in my chest. The young asian boy grimaced at me, walking up to me and offering his hand, helping me over to a chair. "Wait. Glenn?" I asked, suddenly aware of where we were. "How?" I whispered, clearing my sore throat. Glenn sighed in response, explaining what had happened in the alley shortly after the scream rang out. I shook my head. "I couldn't have been out looking for Dee for more than a couple of minutes." I argued. Worried, Glenn put a hand to my forehead. "It's been over an hour. You've been kinda out of it since.."

I snorted. "Well, shit." Gasps from around the room made me finally take in my surroundings, my eyes meeting horrified faces. "I mean, uh, shoot?" I corrected, earning big friendly smiles from the elderly people that shared the room. They were relaxing in their chairs, talking to eachother calmly, as if nothing had changed in the world. "Where are we?" I whispered to Glenn, who'd diverted his attention to a little old lady next to us. "An old folks home, I guess." He murmured and looked around sadly. Loud arguing came from the other room, making the old lady stir in her seat, carefully getting to her feet and scurrying out into the other room.

The arguing quieted down and she spoke quietly, soon returning hand in hand with a pair of strangers, aswell as a trio of very familiar men. "Glenn!" They yelled as they ran up to him. "We thought they'd done you in man!" T-Dog laughed, pulling him under his arm and ruffling his hair.

The next person who spoke was Daryl, who looked at me in annoyance. "Shit, squirt. They do this to ya?" He asked, furrowing his brow and turning to glare at the men escorted by the old lady. The man closest to Daryl lashed out, pushing him into Rick. "Watch it, _pendejo_! We didn't do shit to her." I coughed, running a hand through my hair, temporarily keeping it out of my face.

My head was killing me. I drowned out the sound of T-Dog apologizing for not making sure I was with them when they ran off to Glenn and Daryl, I drowned out the sound of the little old lady who'd joined my side. I could feel how I was about to shut down, exhausted both physically and mentally from the longest day in my life.

The old woman took my hands in hers, closing them around a small silver cross. She smiled at me sadly, still talking, but the sound of her voice not reaching my ears. I must have looked terrified as I trembled in my seat, eyes darting from face to face. Daryl pulled me to my feet and dragged me along after them, making sure I wasn't running off on my own again. I pulled myself together as we approached the spot where we'd parked the truck and struggled against his grip. "We can't leave!" I shouted, digging my heels into the dirt, leaning as back as far as his touch allowed. "What about Dee?" I sobbed, Daryl finally releasing me.

* * *

"What about me?" A gruff voice called. The men swung around, ready to raise their weapons when a tattered and torn Damien limped towards us. I pursed my lips, swallowing the cry that threatened to escape my lips and I threw myself towards my brother, pushing him down to the ground. I sobbed into his chest, my hands full with the sweaty fabric of his dirty and bloody shirt. "I'm sorry." I choked out in between breaths, holding on to my brother for dear life. "Shut up." He murmured, his chest rumbeling underneath me.

"Sorry to break up your little party here, but we got a problem." Glenn called over to us, making me turn my face away from Dee and look at the rest of the group. The spot where we'd parked the truck was empty. "Merle." Damien coughed, battered and broken, pulling the both of us to our feet.

I slung his arm over my shoulder, trying to support him best I could, but my legs gave out underneath me. Rick and T-Dog quickly walked over and took over, the both of them helping Damien to move forward. We had no choice but to get back to camp on foot, seeing as we didn't want to risk leaving anyone behind in the city _again_.

* * *

We didn't reach camp until the sun had already set, all of us exhausted beyond comprehension. We expected to return to relieved friends and family, but as we limped along the dirt road leading to the quarry, we were welcomed with nothing but bloodcurdling screams. Rick quickly let go of Damien and armed us with what guns we had left in the bag we'd retrieved from Atlanta. We sped up, every last one of us running into camp with whatever little energy we had left.

People were falling over left and right, walkers biting into whatever living flesh they could get their dead hands on. Somewhere in the fray, I lost track of my brother and the others, pulling out my crowbar to defend myself against the undead who piled up in our camp. I didn't hear anything but the screams and gunshots ringing out around me, but I didn't need to hear in order to be shaken to my core.

Everything happened quickly. Amy looked at me, grimaced and swung her weapon at the walker inbetween us, lowering it momentarily to reach out to me. My eyes widened and I think I yelled her name as she was caught off guard by a large geek, sinking it's teeth into her delicate neck. I closed the distance between us, stabbing it in the head with my crowbar, Andrea watching in horror as her little sister hit the ground.

* * *

What I didn't see was Damien pushing Daryl out of the way, charging into a battle of his own. What I didn't hear was Damien crying out in pain as the walker who had closed in on Daryl instead sunk it's teeth into his neck, tearing out a chunk of flesh. All I could see was the sweet, gentle Amy, no longer full of life, infront of me. Andrea sunk down, cradeling her sisters head in her arms, as the battle ebbed out.

"Jerrica!" Glenn breathed, having me spin around. Daryl had both hands on Damien's neck, pushing down on the violently gushing wound. Damien spluttered, coughing up more blood, looking over at me. My lip quivered and I ran up to them, tears on the verge of spilling over for what felt like the millionth time that day. The only word I could think of was_ no._ I cried it again and again, touching my brother's pale cheek as he laid dying on the ground.

Daryl kept pressure on his neck, trying to keep the blood from spilling out all over the ground. The survivors looked on in horror as I, trembling, stroke my brother's face, planting kiss after kiss on his forehead, all while crying out _no, no, no._ My tears dripped down on his face as he struggled to speak, coughing up more blood.

"You can't, Dee, I still need you." I whispered as I watched the color leave his face completely. He was bleeding out, despite Daryl's best effort. "I just got you back." I continued. Damien reached out his hand to touch my face, but it quickly fell down. I took it in my hand and brought it to my cheek, where he with one struggeling motion drew a heart on my cheek with his calloused thumb. I nodded. "I know, I know." I breathed, closing my eyes. I didn't watch as Dee's eyes locked with Daryl's, silently asking him for one last favour. I didn't watch as Daryl nodded, letting go of his neck, whiping his bloody hands on his chest.

Dee's hand quickly went cold and limp in mine and I let out a sob again. I lost my brother twice, and this time, I wouldn't be able to take refuge in Amy's comforting arms. "He'll come back, won't he?" I asked, only to be handed a gun. I pushed it aside. "I can't." I breathed, looking up at Daryl's frowning face. He cocked the gun and aimed it at Dee's head, waiting for me to move out of the way so he could make sure that my brother would stay dead. Removing the dogtags from around his neck, I leaned back and closed my eyes, flinching as Daryl fired.

* * *

I stayed at Damien's side until the sun started to rise, the survivors of the attack working hard to move the walkers onto a pyre and burn them. The hole in his head made my stomach turn, so I did my best not to stare at it, or the gaping wound that had ultimately been his demise. "We gotta get rid of his body." Someone said, kneeling down next to me. "I wan't to bury him." I whispered, not moving away from him, the dogtags now around my neck swaying in the breeze.

It took no time at all to dig a shallow grave over by the tree where our tent had stood for the past few weeks. Glenn was happy to help when I asked. I watched as T-Dog and Glenn dragged Damien's lifeless body to the hole we'd dug and lowered him into it. "Thanks." I whispered, picking up a shovel and starting to pile dirt over his body.

* * *

T_here's a rhythm in rush these days, where the lights don't move and the colors don't fade. Leaves you empty with nothing but dreams, in a world gone shallow - in a world gone lean._

His face was the last thing I saw as I closed my eyes and finished covering his body.

_Sometimes there's things a man cannot know, gears won't turn and the leaves won't grow_. _There's no place to run and no gasoline, engine won't turn and the train won't leave._

I whimpered as I dropped the shovel, sinking down next to his make-shift grave.

_I'll stay with you tonight, hold you close 'til the morning light. In the morning, watch a new day rise, we'll do whatever just to stay alive._

"Bye, Dee." I breathed in between sobs, pushing my handprint into the freshly moved dirt.

_We'll do whatever just to stay alive._


End file.
